Wisdom from Grief & Loss: 4 Truths

"Avoiding your triggers isn't healing. Healing happens when you're triggered and your're able to move through the pain, the pattern, and the story - and walk your way to a different ending" - Unknown

Even for someone who has experienced quite a bit of grief, laying out a plan on how to deal with it exactly is such an individualized thing. It can also be a very hard thing to write about or even talk about for many. I've lost several friends and family members over the years, probably more than the average 20-something and it doesn't get easier with every loss because every loss is different and personal. However, it does strengthen you and enable you to have more clarity about what is truly important in life.

1. The process will deepen you as you understand how much of a miracle life is - Especially losing a parent or a close family member, you may start to develop more of a value for life itself. Losing your roots, especially, you realize how much of a miracle it is for you to even exist at all.

2. In the end, there is only love that lasts - Love defies time, memory and heals all things that hurt. I believe that love heals grief because grief is only a product of your love and your feeling that that love has somehow been taken from you. Realizing that the sadness you feel is merely a strengthening of your love can be a comforting experience.

3. Feel your feelings over time - Grief is a natural experience in life. As humans, we are equipped to deal with it but we need to allow ourselves the time to grief. We can't beat ourselves up because its taking longer than expected to 'get over it'. Grief is an experience with no set time of healing. Being completely present and allowing yourself to feel is important. Many of us stuff our feelings which isn't healthy and only makes the process more painful.

4. You won't want to regret not doing things you want to do or expressing how you feel - You may come to realize that life is short and experiencing all you want without any regret is important. Take that trip, tell your friends, family or significant other how much they mean to you, and pursue your passions without fear.


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//mary garland

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